Hola, my Fierce Friend,
Have you ever been told, “You’re too much”? If so, you probably know the internal question that follows: “Am I too much?” And just like that, the overthinking and overanalysis begin.
Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?
The list grows, and before you know it, you’re caught in a downward spiral of self-doubt. Doubt in your words. Doubt in your choices. Doubt in yourself.
I was recently reminded that when a woman is labeled as “too much,” the real critique is often about her intensity—her fire, her presence, her refusal to be diluted.
But let’s take a moment and think about this:
Any founder, world changer, or movement-maker carries a deep level of intensity. They are not meek. They are not mild. They are powerful.
Take Malala Yousafzai, the Nobel Peace Prize winner who started writing about life under Taliban rule at just 11 years old. I can only imagine how many people told her to be quiet, to be less, to stop speaking out.
But she didn’t.
Because intensity fuels impact.
Reframing Intensity as a Strength
Intensity is what drives creativity. It pushes you to take risks, to build, to change. It’s what gets you through the late nights working on a dream and the difficult moments when everything in you wants to give up.
Recently, I had an epiphany. I had been struggling to make sense of a situation where my intensity, my willingness to speak the truth, had come back to bite me. The familiar mental spiral began: Am I too much?
But instead of letting doubt take over, I paused. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and let my emotions settle like rushing water flowing into a still lake.
And then it hit me.
My intensity is that rushing water.
It stirs, moves, transforms, and breathes life into places that have gone stagnant. It is not something to be feared—it is something to be harnessed.
Your Heart Development Strategy
Take a moment. Close your eyes and ask yourself these questions:
- Who are you shrinking yourself for?
- Why are you intentionally making yourself small?
- Who wins when you try to be less than who you were created to be?
- Who loses when you don’t stand in your intensity?
Now, I have one final question:
So, what are you going to do about it?
Because the truth is, your intensity is not a flaw. It is your power. And the world needs more of it, not less.
Emotionally Strong, Fiercely Confident.
Marcie Rey Landreth, LCSW | Heart Development Strategies, LLC