February often centers around romantic love. But what about friendship?
Not surface level networking.
Not proximity friendships.
Real friendship.
As a society, we have become increasingly isolated. We are productive. We are efficient. We are booked and busy. But many of us are also lonely.
This is especially true for women leaders.
We carry vision. We carry responsibility. We make decisions. We hold space for others. And sometimes we find ourselves standing on a metaphorical cliff, overlooking the chaos below, feeling very alone.
I have a picture in my bedroom of a woman dressed in white standing high above the ocean. The waves crash below her. She looks steady. Composed. Strong.
But she is alone.
There are seasons in leadership where we are required to stand above the noise to see clearly. But we were never meant to stay there alone.
Somewhere along the way, hustle culture convinced us that independence is strength. That asking for connection is weakness. That friendship is optional once you are “successful.”
It is not.
In the book Build the Life You Want, Arthur Brooks and Oprah Winfrey describe friendship as one of the pillars of happiness. Not an accessory. A pillar.
Friendship is not extra. It is essential.
Recently, I scheduled lunch with a woman I barely knew but deeply respected. It took two weeks to align calendars. We both had responsibilities. Families. Businesses. Full plates.
We made it happen.
What I thought would be a quick lunch turned into three hours of real conversation. We talked about business. Marriage. Doubt. Calling. Tears were shed. Laughter followed. Something new was born.
A friendship.
Creating meaningful friendships as an adult requires intention. It does not happen accidentally anymore. It requires us to risk rejection. To reach out. To schedule. To follow through.
My mother used to say, “You have to be a friend to have a friend.”
She was right.
If you are waiting for someone to reach out to you, consider being the one who reaches first.
Pick a friend.
Send the text.
Schedule the lunch.
Have the conversation.
We are not designed to be doing machines. We are designed for connection.
Women do not need to walk leadership alone. There are women out there searching for the same depth you are.
Maybe the search begins with you.